How cancer changed me

I put all my energy into getting better for my daughter and family. She needed her mum and I wanted to be her rock. But I could never have foreseen just how much of a rock she would turn out to be for me. My parents were also extremely supportive.

They lived around the corner from me and our houses were separated by a park. My dad would prepare meals for me and carry them through the park to my house.

As much as I had amazing support from my family, a year of chemotherapy took its toll on me. Originally, it was predicted my treatment would take about six months, but it stretched out to a year due to complications with my low white blood cell count. Towards the end of June , I was excited to reach the day that what was due to be my last chemotherapy session.

It broke me. They had to take me into a separate room to calm me down because I was absolutely hysterical. It was simply one week too long to wait. We were ready to put the whole experience behind us. I returned to work and settled back into married life. I felt as though I could do anything. I decided to leave immediately. I took nothing with me except my car keys, denim jacket and Steph. Not long after this I parted ways with my husband and began to look ahead to a completely fresh new start.

He was 11 years younger than me and had no children from any previous partnerships. We decided we wanted to try for our own. The doctors told me I was in early menopause due to my chemotherapy treatment.

I had survived cancer. Then the ground shook a few more times: When I learned of a recurrence, and then another. When I learned it was stage four. When I learned that I would need to integrate chemotherapy every other week into my otherwise happily full calendar.

Each time, I was unsettled for awhile, then eventually got used to the change and found a new normal. It is the intangible changes that rock my daily life and the life of my family. Most people would say that, on my good days, I look like any other person walking around. I watched my husband drive a new, sporty car into our driveway. He has been thinking about getting a sportier car since we met 20 years ago, so I was thrilled for him.

The boys and I made a big fuss about the car, then we continued with our evening. Later, I asked my husband what made him decide to get a new car today. Do you remember? You told me to go for something sporty, something that made me feel good.

I remembered none of these conversations blame it on chemo brain. I now know what I can handle and have the ability to make choices that are in my best interest! Roswell Park is transparent about the survival rates of our patients as compared to national standards, and provides this information, when available, within the cancer type sections of this website. Return to homepage. Flow with it. Tuesday, December 27, - pm.

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